won't do me no good washing in the river, can't no preacher man save my soul

i am here taking a moment to enjoy a cup of coffee, listening to The Civil Wars outstanding album, Barton Hollow, (thanks kyle). lately i have been thinking more and more about the role of pastors in churches. whats odd is that the topic seems to have presented itself to me, its not something i brought up myself. i have had several readings, podcasts, blog posts, articles all seem to "fall into my lap" on the subject. its those kind of things that are hard to ignore. i can can pretend like this one article was "interesting but who cares" and this blog post "is probably important for someone to read" but when its several of them, all at once, from many different directions, well, God, you have my attention.

i have been thinking about churches, and what the purpose of them is, how they function, what is the need being met for individuals, for communities, for the collective church congregation, for the world both near to us and across the world? its pretty accepted that the "mega-church" model is not the ideal model, and most of the mega-churches have found issues with building community and developing disciples because of a disconnect with in the congregation. many of these churches have seen the value in getting people into smaller community groups/small groups/accountability groups whatever you want to call them. i know for myself, the small group is very valuable. i attend a church with an average attendance of about 1200-1300 each week. that is pretty large, but its not overwhelming. i also believe that the leadership in place have done a good job of creating an environment and attitude of welcoming and openness.

i think that as churches have grown we have seen a shift in the role of a pastor. some of it is good, but a lot is not. the pastors are forced to take on a level of "business" that to me seems to be a big distraction. part of the problem is that like with just about everything, financial issues are present. and it falls on pastors to have to deal with them. for many larger churches there are other people involved in the financial areas. we also have the fact that for many of these large churches, they for better or worse have huge buildings to deal with. there are many issues that come into play; making the best use of the space, using it in the proper way to benefit the community but also make sure the building stays in good shape and on and on.

pastors need to be able to focus on discipleship. that is the conclusion that i have come to. that needs to be one of the main focus points. the fact is that this is a generation, a place in time, where the focus is no longer what can i (a member of the congregation) do for my church, but rather what can the church do for me. i think we have lost it, the point. we have forgotten, gotten away from the idea that as a follower of Christ we are called to serve. we are no longer focused on ourselves. there are to many responsibilities that we need to be taking on within our church communities that are being left to staff, to pastors. to many of us have no idea what it means to be disciples anymore. i fear that we see "being a disciple" as something that isn't possible, its only for people who were directly connected to Jesus when he walked on earth. well, the fact is, as a believer, as a follower of Jesus, we are directly connected.

i am someone very intrigued by the rise of the home church movement. i see so much good that comes out of the community that is built in that, so much that can happen when people are committed to each other because they are committed to Jesus. that is what a small group is to me. that is why i enjoy it so much. i look forward to the journey the American church is on, i firmly believe that we, the American church, are on the cusp of a revival. i look forward to it...

--aaron

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hear my cry...

Psalm 88:1 Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.

its so easy to get frustrated sometimes with where we are in life. i am someone who has been on a search, a journey over the last couple of years. i have been seeking to get past me, to get over myself. one of the things i have learned about myself, and about my time in ministry was that i was driven at times, more by ego then by my passion to serve, or to see lives changed. i made it about myself to often. i have had a chance to realize that i was getting in the way of God. i hate it. i hate that it has taken me so long to see it. i hate that it may have had an impact on how other people who i have had an influence on have developed their own relationships with God.

i have also realized that i need to fully sacrifice myself on the altar, and allow God to work through me, and to get out of the way. its not about me, i can not forget that.

i am now finding that i need to wait, to listen to the still small voice and trust God to be in control of this whole life. my very, very human-ness makes that a challenge. but i know that i want God to be in control. i cry out to Him to take over, to work in me and to work through me, and to use me. not my will, but His. and now... i wait.



Psalm 40

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed are those
who make the Lord their trust,
who do not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

--aaron

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and my head told my heart 'let love grow'

i have spent a lot of my music listening time over the last several weeks engrossed in the album Sigh No More from the british band Mumford and Sons.

i have always been someone who can be taken to a place where i feel very close to God through music. and while Mumford and Sons are not a worship band, to me, their music is some of the most worshipful to me right now. they make music that is filled with passion, true emotion, a blend of hope and heartache that is genuine to me. so much "art" is made for other people, but to me, the best art is made for the artist. when the artist is not desiring to reach anyone, but rather are pouring themselves out for their own benefit, that is when the best art is made.

the album may not be for everyone, and there is at least one track that some Christian audiences would gasp at if i told them it was the most worshipful album i am listening to right now. but music has this ability to connect to people on a level that absolutely nothing else can. there is no way to explain why a child will intuitively dance to music without ever being shown what it is to dance. music reaches our soul, we don't have the same defenses to music as we do to empty speeches or hurtful language. we let music in when we block everything else out. that is what makes it so personal, and in turn, so beautiful.



--aaron

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for unto us...

this time of year is one of my favorites. i really love Christmas for a variety of reasons. first i love the idea of recognizing the idea of God coming to us, to live in a human body, the meaning behind that, the purpose for his time on earth, i think its important to celebrate that time, and Christmas is exactly for that. i think that its interesting when people get all up in arms about how Jesus was most likely not born on December 25th, it doesn't matter, that's not the point, its taking time to recognize this part of the story, love coming down and living side by side with us.

i also love the family aspect of Christmas, getting together with loved ones, spending time with them, celebrating with them. its a busy world, and there seems to be so much time that passes us by before we even realize it. sometimes it takes a holiday for us to be able to stop and appreciate our family and friends.

i even love the St. Nicholas/Santa Claus stuff. i know some people feel like to much emphasis is placed on Santa Claus and gifts and whatever, a lot of Christian families don't even like the whole Santa Claus thing at all. i love it. i think that its something magical and special and look forward to seeing the twinkle in my kids eyes for sometime as they grow up. now, i know that its something that people say may be hard for kids to differentiate, how can we justify that Jesus Christ is really real, and Santa is not, to that i say, its how i live my life. its the example i set for my kids. St. Nicholas was very much real, the spirit inside of him is the same Holy Spirit i carry inside of me, that causes me to be Santa Claus to people that i come in contact with this time of year.

a very talented musician, and someone who i would consider a friend, Justin McRoberts, has a very beautiful song that is one of my favorite Christmas songs, to be honest its one i listen to year round

i put together this video because i wanted to be able to share this song, consider it a Christmas present from me to you, share it, its available on vimeo Born Beneath These Stars or on YouTube Born Beneath These Stars

merry Christmas

-aaron
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it ain't that easy...

yesterday i had the opportunity to be in a group of college students. i was really enjoying listening to them share their lives with each other, watching their interaction with each other. it was some really good discussion. one of the thoughts being talked about was the idea that living in our sin can be easier then living "right", that its easier to not even try and be good, and just do whatever.

what i enjoyed was listening to these college age students talk about how they have had to make an effort to do the things they know are right. they come from varying backgrounds, and the challenges they have faced and are facing are all different, but the constant theme was that its not easy. many of the things being said were about how it took a while of living in that darkness before they made the choice to turn away from stuff they knew they shouldn't be involved in, or people that they shouldn't have in their lives. the general consensus was that it was just easier to live in sin, so they stayed in it longer.

i found it interesting, this idea that it is easier to be in our sin, then it is to choose to live away from it. i think that what i have noticed about living in my own sin is that it is easy. its easy because it doesn't take any effort from me. what i mean by that is when i allow myself to be submerged in my sin, i am no longer doing anything of effort, i have stopped making choices, stopped working to keep myself on a path, i have given up the control to Satan, and am allowing him to make the decisions. Satan knows that we are a lazy people, we will choose the path that takes no effort. its not until we start to make some decisions, start to work, to put forth an effort that we will face challenges that take work to overcome. what is regretful is that when we are in midst of our worst moments, in the midst of our full abandonment of following Christ, we fail to see that it is all worth it. that taking up our cross is not easy, but its worth it.

--aaron
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learning to need you

i have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about what my role is. what is the part i play. i think its something that can thought about for endless hours. its interesting because that role changes with all the environments we find ourselves in.

i am a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a friend, a mentor, a disciple, a student, a writer, a thinker, a teacher, a leader, a follower and on and on. in all of those things, i have different things that i am responsible for, different things that i have to fulfill. it wasn't that long ago that i found myself in a place of feeling completely overwhelmed. a place where looking at what i was supposed to be doing left me feeling like i couldn't do any of it.

i think we all feel that way, we all have these times when its too much to handle. for a lot of it i ignore it all, try to focus on that one thing i can handle at the moment. but there are times when it all just catches you, and its those times that we feel the despair, the hopelessness, the pain of trying to do it all.

as sad as it is for me to say, its only now, thirty four years into all of this, that i am just beginning to realize that i am indeed all of those things i listed myself as, but i am first and foremost a beloved child of God. and that when i lean on that, when i fully accept that, i am able to not feel hopeless, but to feel like i can do what God expects of me. i wish that i could say that idea is always, 100% in the forefront of my mind. i still have moments of anxiousness, moments of despair, moments that i feel hopeless. the thing about those moments every time is that the come from the place where i lose my focus, where i don't keep my eyes on who is giving me the opportunity to even be these things.

(by the way, i am finding myself listening to a lot of Justin McRoberts lately, hence the blog post title, you should find yourself listening to a lot of Justin McRoberts too!)

--aaron

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it really is whats expected of me

i am currently involved in a small group. its a great experience. joining with people on a journey, having people alongside you to ask the questions you have not even thought of, to show you something you didn't know was even there. people to support you, to love you, to inspire you when it seems to hard to do on your own. i really love it. we are currently making our way through a study based around the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. it has been interesting, the discussions have been great because our group comes from a very diverse background, and the places that people are at in their current lives lends itself to a dynamic that could not be manufactured.

there was a scripture reference that we read the other day. it was from the Book of James, which for those that know me are fully aware, its a book that i cherish, i love reading, and re-reading, a re-reading again James. this verse we read i have read several hundred times, i am sure of it. but for what ever reason, the way it was singled out in our discussion, it made me stop and really think it through. its a simple verse, its not something that needs a lot of theological debate about its hidden meaning, because its not hidden. the verse is James 4:17 (TNIV)

So then, if you know the good you ought to do and don’t do it, you sin.


for some reason, it just jumped at me, like a crazy man in the alley with a knife! it came at me and forced me to stop and look at what was happening. you see we all try and be the best we can, we try to behave, we try to be good little boys and girls. we say the right words, we say please and thank you, we hold open doors for people, we help little old ladies cross the street.

but we are responsible for so much more. we have an obligation. there are people hurting and we are ignoring it. we turn a blind eye, because its uncomfortable. its not easy to see poverty, to see homelessness, to see parts of our own communities that we wish weren't there. and we drive out of the way to avoid it. instead of getting dirty and doing what we know we ought to do, we don't do it, and we sin. and that is just locally. that's not even looking at AIDS, poverty, hunger, lack of water around the globe.

and that is just the stuff that is easy to explain, it is almost obvious that we could be doing something in those situations. if it comes down to it, i know that i can donate some money or time to a worthy cause that is helping these things. but what about the stuff that is harder to handle? what about the way we treat people different than us? what about homosexual people who we give a cold shoulder to because we don't really know how to address that. or people who have screwed up their lives and we aren't willing to give them a second (or third or fourth or 18th)chance? what we ought to do is love. we ought to be more concerned about the person, and less about their issues. i am someone who has been given extra chances by people closest to me. and i am forever grateful for it. i was moments from losing everything in my life, and that is not an exaggeration, that is a fact. but people stepped in. and did what they ought to.

this isn't even getting into the fact that Christ goes well beyond giving us our 18th chance, goes beyond what he ought to do. for Christ, he sets the example because for him, its not a discussion of what he ought to do, its what he does. its how we should strive to be. to a point where its not up for debate if we ought to do it or not, we just do what is expected of us.

--aaron
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