Monday, November 22, 2010

it ain't that easy...

yesterday i had the opportunity to be in a group of college students. i was really enjoying listening to them share their lives with each other, watching their interaction with each other. it was some really good discussion. one of the thoughts being talked about was the idea that living in our sin can be easier then living "right", that its easier to not even try and be good, and just do whatever.

what i enjoyed was listening to these college age students talk about how they have had to make an effort to do the things they know are right. they come from varying backgrounds, and the challenges they have faced and are facing are all different, but the constant theme was that its not easy. many of the things being said were about how it took a while of living in that darkness before they made the choice to turn away from stuff they knew they shouldn't be involved in, or people that they shouldn't have in their lives. the general consensus was that it was just easier to live in sin, so they stayed in it longer.

i found it interesting, this idea that it is easier to be in our sin, then it is to choose to live away from it. i think that what i have noticed about living in my own sin is that it is easy. its easy because it doesn't take any effort from me. what i mean by that is when i allow myself to be submerged in my sin, i am no longer doing anything of effort, i have stopped making choices, stopped working to keep myself on a path, i have given up the control to Satan, and am allowing him to make the decisions. Satan knows that we are a lazy people, we will choose the path that takes no effort. its not until we start to make some decisions, start to work, to put forth an effort that we will face challenges that take work to overcome. what is regretful is that when we are in midst of our worst moments, in the midst of our full abandonment of following Christ, we fail to see that it is all worth it. that taking up our cross is not easy, but its worth it.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

learning to need you

i have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about what my role is. what is the part i play. i think its something that can thought about for endless hours. its interesting because that role changes with all the environments we find ourselves in.

i am a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a friend, a mentor, a disciple, a student, a writer, a thinker, a teacher, a leader, a follower and on and on. in all of those things, i have different things that i am responsible for, different things that i have to fulfill. it wasn't that long ago that i found myself in a place of feeling completely overwhelmed. a place where looking at what i was supposed to be doing left me feeling like i couldn't do any of it.

i think we all feel that way, we all have these times when its too much to handle. for a lot of it i ignore it all, try to focus on that one thing i can handle at the moment. but there are times when it all just catches you, and its those times that we feel the despair, the hopelessness, the pain of trying to do it all.

as sad as it is for me to say, its only now, thirty four years into all of this, that i am just beginning to realize that i am indeed all of those things i listed myself as, but i am first and foremost a beloved child of God. and that when i lean on that, when i fully accept that, i am able to not feel hopeless, but to feel like i can do what God expects of me. i wish that i could say that idea is always, 100% in the forefront of my mind. i still have moments of anxiousness, moments of despair, moments that i feel hopeless. the thing about those moments every time is that the come from the place where i lose my focus, where i don't keep my eyes on who is giving me the opportunity to even be these things.

(by the way, i am finding myself listening to a lot of Justin McRoberts lately, hence the blog post title, you should find yourself listening to a lot of Justin McRoberts too!)