hear my cry...

Psalm 88:1 Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.

its so easy to get frustrated sometimes with where we are in life. i am someone who has been on a search, a journey over the last couple of years. i have been seeking to get past me, to get over myself. one of the things i have learned about myself, and about my time in ministry was that i was driven at times, more by ego then by my passion to serve, or to see lives changed. i made it about myself to often. i have had a chance to realize that i was getting in the way of God. i hate it. i hate that it has taken me so long to see it. i hate that it may have had an impact on how other people who i have had an influence on have developed their own relationships with God.

i have also realized that i need to fully sacrifice myself on the altar, and allow God to work through me, and to get out of the way. its not about me, i can not forget that.

i am now finding that i need to wait, to listen to the still small voice and trust God to be in control of this whole life. my very, very human-ness makes that a challenge. but i know that i want God to be in control. i cry out to Him to take over, to work in me and to work through me, and to use me. not my will, but His. and now... i wait.



Psalm 40

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed are those
who make the Lord their trust,
who do not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

--aaron

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