hear my cry...

Psalm 88:1 Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.

its so easy to get frustrated sometimes with where we are in life. i am someone who has been on a search, a journey over the last couple of years. i have been seeking to get past me, to get over myself. one of the things i have learned about myself, and about my time in ministry was that i was driven at times, more by ego then by my passion to serve, or to see lives changed. i made it about myself to often. i have had a chance to realize that i was getting in the way of God. i hate it. i hate that it has taken me so long to see it. i hate that it may have had an impact on how other people who i have had an influence on have developed their own relationships with God.

i have also realized that i need to fully sacrifice myself on the altar, and allow God to work through me, and to get out of the way. its not about me, i can not forget that.

i am now finding that i need to wait, to listen to the still small voice and trust God to be in control of this whole life. my very, very human-ness makes that a challenge. but i know that i want God to be in control. i cry out to Him to take over, to work in me and to work through me, and to use me. not my will, but His. and now... i wait.



Psalm 40

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

4 Blessed are those
who make the Lord their trust,
who do not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

--aaron

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and my head told my heart 'let love grow'

i have spent a lot of my music listening time over the last several weeks engrossed in the album Sigh No More from the british band Mumford and Sons.

i have always been someone who can be taken to a place where i feel very close to God through music. and while Mumford and Sons are not a worship band, to me, their music is some of the most worshipful to me right now. they make music that is filled with passion, true emotion, a blend of hope and heartache that is genuine to me. so much "art" is made for other people, but to me, the best art is made for the artist. when the artist is not desiring to reach anyone, but rather are pouring themselves out for their own benefit, that is when the best art is made.

the album may not be for everyone, and there is at least one track that some Christian audiences would gasp at if i told them it was the most worshipful album i am listening to right now. but music has this ability to connect to people on a level that absolutely nothing else can. there is no way to explain why a child will intuitively dance to music without ever being shown what it is to dance. music reaches our soul, we don't have the same defenses to music as we do to empty speeches or hurtful language. we let music in when we block everything else out. that is what makes it so personal, and in turn, so beautiful.



--aaron

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